last night i cried for no discernible reason
in an apartment that doesn’t belong to me
in front of a person who also doesn’t belong to me
(because people can’t own other people)
i say that i don’t like owning things
but i’m not sure if that’s entirely accurate
i used to only cry alone
i have cried more in front of people in the last 6 months
than in the last 5 years of my life combined
probably…
crying seems funny, to me
i am on a very crowded train
passing grand central station
it is 9:01AM and i am officially late for work
i am late for work because i slept 15 minutes past my alarm
then i had sex
then i stopped for coffee
i am late to work every day
when you’re an intern nobody cares what you do
the main thing I am learning at my internship
is how to look busy when i’m not doing anything
also, i am very good at making photocopies now
and putting labels on things
today i got an email from a woman in human resources
she was upset because i haven’t gone to any of the ‘intern events’
because the ‘intern events’ count as your lunch break
and i want to eat lunch alone
i have become very good at avoiding other interns
at 5pm i will take a crowded train to my second job
at my second job i have learned how to answer phones
and transfer calls to the appropriate extensions
and smile at people
and bring people coffee
and call the car service
and process fed ex packages
today my brother emailed me while having a good drug experience
i want to have fun when i take drugs
but it’s difficult, sometimes
also, i want to lose 20 pounds
but i think that is an unrealistic goal
considering i don’t exercise
and my diet is terrible
and i am unmotivated
i think i would like to go to mexico and just hang out for a while
my dad says I have 50 cousins in mexico but i have never met them
would they let me leave work early
if i got hit by a car but wasn’t seriously injured
Mira Gonzalez
© Mira Gonzalez
Ett varm tack till Mira Gonzalez för att vi fick publicera den här dikten, som är hämtad ur Miras debutbok i will never be beautiful enough to make us beautiful together (Sorry House, 2013), som just har kommit ut i en andra upplaga. På hennes Tumblr läser vi att man kan beställa direkt från henne: ”paypal $15 to miraLgonzalez [at] gmail (+$3 for anywhere outside of the united states)”.
Gonzalez, född 1992, har en minst lika hög närvaro på nätet som Tao Lin och förtjänar säkert epitetet prinsessan av av Alt Lit, men eftersom Alt Lit är ett så vittförgrenat begrepp, som snarare kopplar samman olika fenomen genom familjelikhet, så rekommenderar vi den här artikeln, ”Depthless Psychology: The flatness of Mira Gonzalez’s poetry”, och den här intervjun som Sheila Heti gjorde med Gonzalez på The Believers blogg, i den underbara serien What Would Twitter Do?
Intervjun handlar naturligtvis en hel del om Twitter och där hittar du också @miragonz, sedan @miraunedited skrotades i våras, Mira Gonzalez enda allmänt kända Twitter-konto. Om man vore tvungen att sammanfatta karaktären på hennes tweets med två ord – brutalt uppriktiga.
Vissa hävdar att Twitter-flödet påminner om hennes dikter, vi tycker att dikterna står helt i en klass för sig. Vissa tycker att de är stötande. Troligen beror det på att de ibland handlar om sex, droger och om att vara deprimerad, och på deras uppriktighet och deras flatness (se ovan).
Ola Wihlke
